"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
her best friend is in town and she told me that they used to fool around when they were drunk and I'd have to "help keep that from happening"
you motherfucker
The maintenance guy asked for a box to stand on to reach the ceiling. All I could offer him was a keg.
She kept telling people I wrecked her brain. That high.
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
The best part of Easter was watching all his colorblind cousins try to find the eggs.
i tried to propose to him with my nipple ring but i couldnt figure out how to take it out
She was dressed as a banana and told me that I needed more potassium in my diet. Of course I went down on her.
Things he's good at: oral sex and geometry. Things he's not good at: actual sex.
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
He wanted to watch a Charlie Brown thanksgiving. But I was like, fuck that, I'm a grown up. So we watched jumanji and I sucked his dick.
I JUST PETTED A FUCKING SQUIRREL. A SQUIRREL.
The last time I saw you you got angry and yelled "WHISKEY DOESNT COUNT" ... I think that's at least a 7 on the hotmess scale.
Randomize
