Laying in bed naked with the guy I just fucked, talking to his WIFE who's sitting across from us like we're having a fucking tea party. This is interesting.
Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
I woke up covered in my own vomit with a pocket full of napkins. I guess I knew I would need them, but was not coherent enough to use them before passing out.
you left your shoes but remembered to take your vodka. i see where your priorities are.
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
No it's cool, He's been doing my English papers in exchange for lap dances since the eleventh grade. We're very professional.
Sorry blacked out and lost my phone. Judging by the looks of my body I fought a cat and fell into a bush.
No more jager for that guy. He jacked the neighbor kids big wheel, rode around making jet noises, then passed out behind the wheel and rolled it and broke his wrist
The second time he came it projectile shot in my ear
We were in a spooning position and it shot all the way up. He was like sorry. Physics.
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
Why does my nose taste spicy?
How do you know what your nose tastes like?
I am mentally ready for anal.
Like I'll lick your nuts to make you feel better if you don't get it
He flipped a shopping cart in the back room and had to leave to make a jazz playlist. If we aren't in love then i don't know what love is.
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