It wasn't long before I skipped the martini glass and went straight to drinking from the shaker.
I wasn't fucked. I was just drunk, because i was still able to walk into the woods and masterbate.
I'll trade you a raw potato for some vodka
Just saw a guy from Kansas and a guy from Nebraska arguing over who had less of an accent. God Bless the Midwest.
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
My liver is begging me not to go, but sadly enough for him my feet and hands control me getting there.
Im pretty sure by the fifth subway ride after going in circles the four times prior, we all just accepted that we werent making the concert and should instead enjoy our magical weed and tequila laced journey.
There's 50 people in our house, none of them are wearing shirts. The keg has been relocated twice and our bathroom door is missing again...when will we ever learn?
The only way I can describe this shit is male aloe vera plant in both looks and feel its standing in the toilet
Thanks for that....my girlfriend picked up my phone and saw that
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
I need a life alert for his random dick pics. My heart can't handle that.
Where'd you go?
Laundry, im. A responsible drunk
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
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