well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
I just want dick. Yours just gets priority because it is glorious
Are my feet made of real feet?
Dude, Taco Bell gave me a free fiesta potatoes when I won a bet on wether I could fit the entire rim of a cup in my mouth.
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on.
My hickies are dark enough that I can feel drivers judging me from across an intersection
I'm worried my skin won't stretch enough to handle this boner. Then what?
Debating going to the grocery store with my vibrator still in, cause I can't stand the idea of it out. Lets do some risk/reward
I fell asleep completely naked, standing up with my arms and head in the freezer
This is getting exciting. I almost wanna turn off all the lights, get some popcorn, and stare at my phone screen to see if she's going to say yes or not
And on a much sadder note, I'm way to drunk for this right now
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
Damn, I just did coke with a dude in a bathroom and after he took his dick out right in front of me and took a piss. What a power move.
Randomize
