Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
god is playing jersey shore on new years on purpose. he wants me to play drinking games and die. i wish he knew how serious this is.
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
well since you're still married, you will be paying for my abortion right?
DUDE, DID YOU KNOW YOU CAN JUST RENT AN ELEPHANT???
Oh God.
Sweating vodka and spray tan, I feel like a trophy wife.
My teacher just let our class out 30 minutes early, its a 50 minute class. He said the only thing we had to do was get fucked up tonight and have stories about it on Monday.
She bought my penis dinner and beer last night. Her words
You don't know how skeptical I was about letting a guy with braces go down on me
Welcome to my Tuesday when my lesbian ex girlfriend shows up unexpectedly and gets me drunk and then leaves
Just had a flashback of scottish man yellin' at my face. What the fuck I did?
Dear sober self, your keys are on the table in front of you the only way your typing this is with autocorrect goodnight love you
Awesome. I did a rain go away dance. And it went away. Nbd just cotrollin the weather with my mind and sweet dance moves
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