was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
I just opened a bunch of old flavored condoms just to see what they tasted like.
Well, I looked over and you and him were each making out with a fireman. And then you switched. And you probably spent an hour like that.
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
I just remembered that I did shots out of a gay mans crotch. And there's someone saved in my phone as "Miranda knows where my car is"
Note to self...boner negates all verbal agreements ...got it
I totally forgot about finals week. im the worst adderall salesman ever.
I feel like shit, and I can't get the band aids off my nipples.
The crowd is chanting "we want sex!" There's a man dressed as bacon. That is all
I'm so baked, I spent the last hour trying to screencapture the cracks on my phone.
don't bring your nerd jargon into this conversation about my naked body
Fun fact. I just wrapped myself in wrapping paper for a sext. Is this a new high or a new low stay tuned.
How do you know i dont look like i got attacked by a weedwacker on bath salts?
I've been trying to masturbate for the longest time now and so far I've accomplished getting tangled in my computer battery cord and phone charger and hitting my knee on my laptop.
Long story short wrist restraints, Apple Watch and cumming all don’t mix
Randomize
