GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
found out this morning via facebook that the guy i met last night has a wife and a baby and he took me to his apartment where he takes girls to cheat on his wife
i mean you met him at the daytona 500
Fucked her within an inch of her life. Seriously. Don't choke bitches when they ask. Was way too drunk to be pulling that shit.
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
Quick question... Why were there condoms frozen into ice cubes?
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
You're gonna die alone anyway. Even if you do meet a man, they die earlier than women. Best case, you have to deal with grieving over his death and then die alone a couple years later. Worst case, you get a terminal illness and he divorces you, leaving you to die alone anyway.
Thanks, mom.
Thanks in advance for a great weekend. Sorry your roommates are going to hate you after I leave. They need to loosen up anyways.
The bouncer at this strip club is my new best friend. He is also very persuasive. He got me to strip onstage for a t shirt. It's a nice shirt.
I haven't gone out since the baby was born. If I don't get arrested, in a fight, or both I'm going to be super pissed.
We haven't even eaten dinner yet and she's already been asked to "take it down a notch" by the groom's mom.
How is it that I've hooked up with not one but two guys in the children's section of a bookstore tonight?
at first i said "no rollerblading if I'm going to be drunk," but we all know how that went
He bought me pizza and bourbon and played scrabble with me. So naturally I slept with him.
Randomize
