I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
i just called corporate taco bell to ask about the life span of a chicken burrito.
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
i woke up this morning next to my toilet covered in an attempt to make blanket of toilet paper
I get credit on the assist, you can thank me by taking a pic of her ass under the covers and sending it to me. It would make my YEAR
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
Wheres my "thanks for using birth control effectively and not contributing to the downfall of society" card.
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
I'm really having trouble focusing on shark week with this erection
You know you threw a brownie at my head last night. And said you did it to defend the turtles honer....
is telling someone you can be his trophy wife the same as proposing?
I feel like a grown up and it scares me so I'm hiding out in the bathroom stall and messaging you
i need to get drunk because i'm an angry sober
Randomize
