"Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.
Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
I walked in and she was doing shots, betting the managers if any of the customers would notice, and screaming that nothing would ruin her Saturday night. Say what you want, I like working with my sister.
He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
I tried calming him down but his eyes are rolling to the back of his head and he's yelling "COMA WEED!"
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
Halfway through he got an idea for a short story so he wrote it in magic marker on my boobs. Yeah, he's a keeper.
You are like a vicious sex animal persistently seeking prey
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
I resisted the urge to announce that it looks like a big crystal butt plug
This lady gave me four cups to go along with my gallon of daiquiri. Silly girl, all I need is a straw.
I based a lot of our friendship on the fact that I thought you were crying from feeling so sad for me when I got crabs. I'm not sure if we can ever be as close now.
You give an incredible blow job. I wanted to make sure you know it was appreciated
Oh you know just explaining sexual consent to a drunk 80 year old man. How is this my life?
THERES A FUCKBOY IN MY PERSONAL SPACE
GET IT AWAY FROM ME IM ALLERGIC
Randomize
