he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
Call me immediately, my only recent boy news involves me biting a dick.
I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
I just need you there to slap my dick when im flirting with her
Drunk roommate walked in on us and asked if we wanted to go eat a sandwich with her in the bathroom.
He kept dropping hints about giving me crabs. Like he called my pubes a nest and said he "hoped there weren't any eggs in there."
We bonded over blowjobs and stories of our childhoods. It was beautiful.
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
Because guys aren't supposed to cry. Especially when it's over a dude singing a Christmas carol.
We watched game of thrones, broke up and I drove away blasting ridin solo while he dougied
there's cocaine on the ipad again........... was your sister here last night?
He made me a flamingo drink and now I don't know why things are the way they are.
I just ordered a onesie on amazon in the back of the ambulance while my patient was sleeping. I'm an adult
I enjoy the company of your penis
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