forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
Saw some pubes in our toilet, hope the new look works out tonight.
You never realize just how much you have to be thankful for until you almost shit yourself in a Target.
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
Don't blame me for eating all the ham.. I gave it out to people, so at most I'm guilty of ham distribution
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
it looks like my getting laid tonight is going to depend on my knowledge of native birds. this is a weird party
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
I rigged together two of my vibrators for more power... I've created a monster.
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
People will say "JOE YOU MUST TURN DOWN" and I will refuse, in the name of liberty.
Nothing says happy Monday quite like coffee and oral sex.
just had an allergic reaction to my dildo. My life is ruined.
Broken heels while double fisting margaritas, picking up shirtless, bloody men and escorting them out of harms way, the meltdown when I realized I can go without a bra bc my boobs shrunk, the morning vodka red bull you were forced to drink? Which one roped you in?
I could have sworn that I went home last night... but judging from the couch I just woke up on, apparently not.
Randomize
