her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
He smothers me through text. I can't even image what he'd be like in person.
Do you think it'll be awkward standing up at their wedding knowing I've slept with both the bride and the groom?
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
Just so you know I would totally fuck you. Does that count as a feeling?
YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL.
That's what my new years consisted of. Consoling heartbroken girls and having people throw up in my hands.
Right now Tom has the 2nd floor office bathroom under siege. He shit/clogged one toilet, and he's throwing up in the sink.
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
I've never been so tempted to check my phone during sex in my life.
He literally cried into his tacos and screamed fuck bitches. Don't know if it was the best, or the worst hook up, ever.
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
Yiu ever laugh so hard you stop breathing? Turns out weed -can- kill you.
I've turned into a small time drug dealer, now who's the real MVP.
Randomize
