you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
I woke up and went to my kitchen naked and decided I wanted a fruit cup. Ate said fruit cup. Look over and notice my male neighbor is staring at me
They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
After New Year's Eve I will be hibernating my life away. Only wake me up for skiing, schnapps, and sex. In that order.
I hid a girl's boot last night so I could ransom it back this morning via the "blowjobs for boots" program.
I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying.
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
At front desk. Got a beer drinking pigeon.
He raised his arm and dropped it in his sleep to smack himself awake. He knows his phone has an alarm clock right?
Stoned stonnnnnnned on the raaaaange
I SWEAR TO GOD IF SHE FUCKS WITH OUR GOLD GENE POOL
I want my tombstone to read "making poor life decisions since 1993"
WHO GIVES HANDJOBS AT 8 IN THE FUCKING MORNING
Jesus fuck that was emotional whiplash
Randomize
