I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
My mom is pretending to be Paula Deen while making breakfast...I'm pretty sure she's sober.
Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
I just inadvertently flirted with my coworker's 20-year old son. I've known him since he was 14, yet suddenly he looked different.
You are nothing if not reliable.
Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
Hey for future reference vodka can not be substituted for water when shaving your legs
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
Just found out they make medicinal lollipops, bought like 40 of them. Gonna go fill a pediatricians lollipop bowl.
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
Don't patronize me, I thought of that on peyote, so it was basically like a message from God.
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
My sunday was babysitting three big, drunk, crying Swedes. Unless your day involved four or more giant drunk swedes I don't want to hear about it.
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
I've got a surprise in the fridge when you get back.
Is it a puppy?
Don't send me pics of cunning dicks while I'm eating potato chips
Randomize
