D3 body, D1 cock
The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
He was making tequila spiked Arnold Palmers and murmuring things in Spanish.
I love foreign exchange students.
I've been smelling a baby wipe for three minutes. I didn't think I was that drunk but I guess I am
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
I just don't fit in here. The other wives are ten years older and have kids!
Well, you chose trophy wife of a 35 year old over college. Sit in your suburban soup and stew.
Our relationship needs a sober moment
I'll call you when that happens
We smoked a huge blunt and then laid in bed naked eating strawberry shortcake good humor bars. We have the perfect relationship.
You know how I know last night was a good night? Because I remember high fiving a couple WHILE they were having sex.
Happy anniversary, did you sign and mail in the divorce papers yet?
I don't want my liquor store dad to judge me...
I know she’s pissed I fucked her husband, but I didn’t know he was married until after I blew him at Legoland
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