ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
I just used a franzia box to scrape the snow off my car.
Sometimes I wish I could peel his face off and use it to take all the money out of his account.
I wish orgasms lasted as long as the pain from rug burn
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
Woke up the day after the party with a bruise on my stomach. Pretty sure my liver was trying to escape for fear of it's life.
After I was kicked out of the last frat I blacked out, woke up in the hospital with no clothes no phone and no idea what happened last night. But i got hospital socks, thats a win in my book.
He's super sweet. I feel like I'm dating Elmo. If Elmo had a 7 incher
If I shaved my pubic hair into a heart for valentine's day how much would you judge me?
She said she is going to be sex-slave version of Princess Leia for halloween. You think there is any way I could pull off an attractive Jabba suit?
I told him to come over when I realized that I did have time for a quick booty call before church.
Hella random but just hear me out...A bar that is a petting zoo. Bitches love petting zoos.
How do u even exfoliate your vagina
Were not even through the second month of the year and I potentially may have torpedoed a marriage...
I have a bag of frozen peas on my vagina. If you want to talk about real problems.
Randomize
