I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
He left an unopened 12 pack of beer by my bed. I guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex..
woke up laying on an empty pizza box and some guy was doing blow off my butt...i guess i should thank you.
It was my little brother's 14th birthday today. Didn't know what to get him so I just showed him how to use incognito tabs on google chrome.
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
He tried to tell me that he could handle his liquor better than "all the bitches in this town." AS HE THREW UP. ALL. OVER.
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
Our first time hooking up was on New Years and we've managed to hook up every holiday since, I'm hoping this lasts until 2016 just to fulfill my American Holiday sex fantasy I never knew I had
I put purple lights under my bed and asked him if he wanted to fuck in a spaceship.
One of the finest moments in my life was when I was puking in between my legs as I was shitting, and thought to myself "hmm this shall be called shomiting."
I got very very very high last night and bought a cotton candy machine on eBay
I think people are normalizing furries
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
I don't want them thinking I'm like, "Mm, yeah, kitchenware in my ass please."
Our livers get a hall pass for 2020, right?
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