come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
hey im gonna send you a picture of my dinner
if its a picture of your dick again we are no longer friends
I woke up this morning and the first thing i saw was the harry potter tattoo on his left butt cheek.
Why do I always have sex on the first date when I know it demotes me to booty call girl?
She told me she was a cowboys fan... I told her it was a waste of a perfect set of tits
I don't know what he sees in her. All I see are horrible pancake nipples
Barack Obama mentioned plan B and suddenly this address seems a lot more personal
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
Why did the fire extinguisher taste lemony?
The strip clubs here are like a safari of penis, and I'm gonna bag me a rhino.
Quick how do you hit on a guy in the car behind you? It's important.
I think weed is turning my hair brown
He compared my ass to "a 13 year old track star's ass." Umm WTF? Is that supposed to be a compliment? And when I questioned boy or girl he said "either."
HE LEFT ME THE DAY AFTER I LET HIM PEE ON ME. If you date him after that, I'll leave the fucking PLANET.
i walked into her house and she introduced me to her family. i dont think she understands the term booty call
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