I'm cheating on the girl I'm cheating on my girlfriend with
He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
she was like a sexier Rosie O'Donnel
Either these are mashed potatoes in my pants, or I was drunker than I thought.
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
You were wasted and fell in a pond when you met him, it's not like you were on top of your game
you're surprised the chick that fucked you for a free cup has herpes. i don't feel bad for you.
Weve literally been going out drinking five days a week. That counts as a full time job right?
don't you dare blame getting arrested on me. you sugested we play the penis game and we all know I'm a strong competitor
It was like giving head to a cactus.
How are you getting in?
I know some influential drag queens
She's blowing me while I'm watching air jaws. I love shark week.
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
i think we reached that point in our drunkenness where even the creeps found us intolerable
Randomize
