I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
I just watched a girl in the library pull a vodka bottle out of her bag. I think I'm going to give her my number.
At the end of the night you handed the bartender a piece of paper with the word "VISA" written on it.
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
I've never felt more disgusting in my life. And I'm including the time I snuggled that homeless woman in the puddle of my whiskey vomit.
I just want you and your enormous dick to be my fucking rebound so we can move on with our lives
There is blood on my sheets, we apparently used 8 towels, everything in my shower is knocked down. Wut?
Who the fuck cries when they're stoned?!
Sorry man I just really wanted a McChicken
We're fucking and Lee Greenwood God Bless the USA comes on and he came. It was the most Roll Tide America moment of my life.
I accepted my type is not "conventionally attractive" when she asked me "Him? Are you sure?" 5 times in front of him last night
She called to tell me she just hooked up with my crush...and that he talked about me...not sure if I should be pissed or excited?
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
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