after a month anything with tits is on the radar
had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
I have a physical this friday. On a scale from 1-10, 10 being the most judgemental gay bashing, how much judgement am I gonna get from my dr when he checks my balls and sees the cherry tattoo
How do I go about this? "Hey, its my birthday in 40 minutes. Would you like to come over for some sex? Also, please bring snacks"?
This is exactly why you shouldn't bang your bartender. Although the awkward free shots are a plus.
Finding an empty bathroom to shit on campus is like the quest for the fucking Holy Grail. Except with more stench and humiliation.
Woohoo! Instead of a pregnancy test you can buy me a burrito
...is this motivational speaking, or sexting? It's getting hard to tell.
Bro.. I am absolutely going to have sex with our old middle school health teacher
We ran out of toilet paper so Ive been using coffee filters
You kept licking my face. You said you were making sure I was real.
So I met one of her cousins last night. She recognized me as "the guy that's always in the liquor store", I may have a problem.
you have 30 seconds to convince me not to grab this guy's crotch in front of his girlfriend
The only food I have to eat is weed gummies and magic mushrooms... This is peak 34
Randomize
