I just threw up a christmastime peep. I am literally already sick of the holidays.
I really need to learn how to handle sexual advances from older women
I wish I had your problem
I can hear the condescending tone from the atm when it asks if $3 is all I would like to deposit
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
Did I really just find a cheez- it box full of condoms in your room?
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
Due to your tardiness, I'm saving you my tab
Dude if i sent you a picture of the inside of my fridge would you be able to break down and explain everything that was in it?
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
I think someone tried to make a huge bowl of ramen in my bathtub. There's noodles everywhere in my bathroom.
I'm currently on an epic search all over the city for a drug store that isn't sold out of Plan B. I celebrated your birthday from afar.
Once again, marijuana saves me from going to jail
And how about the fact that the first time i really truly looked at a guy's dick was in my car. MY CAR. GODDAMNIT!!!
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