Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
Through a series of unfortunate circumstances, I think I just sprayed lime juice on my vagina.
i need gas-x and some way to take back every single thing i did last night.
He told me they were just razor bumps!
you finished all 5 burgers, started crying tears of joy, and then claimed the tears were actually just 'meat sweats' from your eyes
I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
She just told me she blew the waiter in the bathroom. Should I still leave a tip?
There is a pube in my fucking eyeball
I ended up naked with smirnoff caps on my nipples. Dignity is now a completely foreign concept to me.
I had him autograph the condom wrapper.
I blew him while watching the aristocats. There were singing cats in the background. I think he he hummed along at one point.
I'm just gonna stay I'm bed where it is warm and cozy and nobody knows me as the girl that puked on a stripper
I have poison ivy on my dick
WHAT
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
I'm bringing home frosties. I need to talk about butt stuff.
Randomize
