Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
she said "lets play dickbreaker!" and then threw my blackberry at my dick as hard as she could.
I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
Sandwiches are there for you when porn isn't.
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
i know i said i'd always be there for you, but i'm beginning to think that what you call "being there for me" the american judicial system calls reckless endangerment.
I want to see boobs tonight. Like, real ones. Your ones.
I'm romantic.
He said bring my breathalyzer and Anna's pepper spray, I didn't ask questions
I think I ripped my underwear last night doing drunk squats
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
Dude, i just watched a drag queen dropkick a motherfucker. this is a good night.
Can we talk about how she only slept with you because you remind her of a member of a K-pop group?
U know this is gone far when im in the bathroom trying to take a pic of my asshole
How in the fuck did you get LIVE MOTHER FUCKING BATS!?!?! Into my ROOM last night????
Randomize