his ringtone is the jonas brothers. get me the fuck out of here NOW.
I woke up to my dog trying to clean my vagina.
I just watched a girl in the library pull a vodka bottle out of her bag. I think I'm going to give her my number.
He won't let me have sex with him, but feels bad if I won't let him get me off. It is the weirdest, best, most confusing pseudo relationship I've been in.
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
i feel like pizza bites are my only friend right now
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
You will go out on a boat of flames filled with honor, sarcasm, and assholery, let me assure you.
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
i ended up eating cold sauceless spaghetti out of the container in the fridge with my hands.
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
He told me I smelled like peanut butter, pepperoni, and pure unbrieldled passion.
It feels so wrong having a picture of my tits next to a picture of my daughter.
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