Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
every time i get drunk at her place i end up leaving with nothing but an empty box of toaster strudels..
She used my dick as a microphone to sing "any way you want it" I'm in love.
Just got a full body massage. It was uncomfortable at first, but then I realized I let strangers turn off the lights and put their hands all over my naked body 3 times a week anyways.
Birthday was great, I got entirely too drunk and made really poor life decisions. It was everything a birthday should be.
if u cant get laid at this wedding we need to have a looooooong talk about the possibility of u becoming a lesbian
You're cordially invited to the love nest for alcoholic and aquatic adventures. Also known as an all expense paid trip to my pool, alcohol, and vagina.
I just want to point out that nothing makes my hickie/hangover more obvious than sleeping in a scarf and sunglasses. nothing.
I really gotta be careful. My email inbox is equal parts notifications from instructors and this dude's dick. If I get drunk and reply to the wrong thing I might get kicked out of grad school.
We stayed up until 4:20 AM. The next thing I remember was waking up at 4 PM, like my internal alarm clock knew.
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
And why in he fuck did I get 'dick' in Romanian tattooed on my forearm
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
For full disclosure: I told my roommates last night that you have a very clean asshole.
Her hand jobs are magic. They smell like vanilla and awesomeness. She made me forget how to walk
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