ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
Your mom just threw up on me. Please come home.
This just became a night full of adventures...and by adventures I mean hitting people with my car
For when you/if you wake up tomorrow.. You broke 4 of the bar's glasses tonight and I am currently watching you as you ride the broom around the bar instead of cleaning up your mess. I am no longer able to come up with excuses for you.
Steve called. He needs me to pick him up. He also asked for a set of his clothes, he can't find them. He is such a strong motivation to stay sober.
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
Well, I'm hung over and my penis hurts - two signs of success
Ah. Hot spring. Infinitely less skeevy than a hot tub. These North Carolinian dudes are all class.
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
I drunkenly texted ur dad last night telling him he raised great kids hahahahaha
I just watched a squirrel take down a snake,life isn't so bad after all.
He kept spinning my wedding ring like thanks buddy I remember
I know she’s pissed I fucked her husband, but I didn’t know he was married until after I blew him at Legoland
Randomize
