At the Phils game. My gay buddy just wanted up to a bunch of Mets fans and said "I'm gay, and even I think Mets fans are a bunch of fags." I love this fuckin town.
u ever jackoff with ur legs spread and pretend ur fuckin urself as a girl and get mad u'll never know what that feels like. Or to fly like a bird?
Did u absorb a fraternal twin in the womb?
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
Dude just bought condoms some sad fuck next to me buying a pregnancy test he gave me a look like he'd pay me millions to switch places
The toilet started ringing, I think I just found your phone.
you just kept yelling "siddle that plaza" til the cab driver said it back...
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
I JUST ATE A STRANGE BURRITO, I SHOULD NOT BE EXPECTED TO KNOW ANYTHING RIGHT NOW.
I just really don't even know what I would do with a boyfriend... Like do I just kiss it and then leave it in the corner? Like how often does it eat??
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
This is not 2004 anymore. It's not acceptable to get fingered while watching 'Ferngully' in a basement full of your friends.
I'm sad about how hungover I'm gonna feel tomorrow.
He told me he would make me come so hard I would throw up. I'm actually horrified that he thinks that's something any person would want
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