Where did you get a picture of my penis
Emee failed...She used my genitals as a tampon
Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
judging by the pasta sauce and dirty pans i spent my blackout being emeril
I distinctly recall there being a "I can't be dead 2maro" stipulation to going out last night. There's been a breech of contract
You need to stop blackout tweeting at him to have sex with you on the roof of your dorm. He doesn't even have a twitter.
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
I want a calm night. Not one where I wake up to you topless and bloody.
He left my apartment when I broke up with him just as my booty call was walking in. It was a little awkward...
Dude, you went to another fraternity's formal as a joke and came home with one of their dates. AND you managed to get her number. Please explain to me how that's not a good night.
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
He's in grad school at Harvard. I suppose that means my vagina is now smarter than I am.
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
Is it sad the checkout lady had to inform my mom she can't buy alcohol before 8am?
Dad danced on top of the bar with me last night. And has a video of me doing a beer bong.
Randomize
