so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
WTF WHY ARE YOU STILL NOT DOING A BEER BONG?! THE TOILET CLOG CAN WAIT
Just bought an airhorn. Bad things will happen.
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
Remind me never to take that much Vicodin ever again. I laid in bed measuring my heart rate for an hour and a half because I was afraid it would stop.
I got 87 likes on my changed relationship status. It's official. I'm way more fucking awesome single.
They're mostly guys
Early bird gets the worm.
He called it restless penis syndrome. I call it cheating.
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
I woke up and found a stick of butter in my pocket. There's no butter in the house so I don't know who's it is. Using it to make cookies.
Didn't have the heart to tell him that while he was eating my ass I was laughing, not moaning, into the pillow
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
Maybe it’s too soon to casually tell the boss that I went to Tulsa for some dick last night
Sometimes I wish I could tell all my past/present hookups what the nicknames that my friends and I have assigned them.
What do you do when you legitimately find a hidden sex dungeon in your parents basement next to your bedroom!!?
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
Randomize
