I just counted my steps so I know when you start looking for you on my way back from the bathroom
You know how us drunks love counting steps
its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
Just because i have a masturbation problem doesnt mean you can put 20 photos of Jesus in my room.
wait a second. did i just remember you the other night referring to your tits as tia and tamara.....
I've only been home four days and my parents' cleaning lady already wrote down the number to AA and told me she's praying for me.
I need a therapist, but moreover we are going to be really drunk.
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
I literally just force feed a guy flintstone vitamins after sex
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
I kind of just assumed by how he whisked eggs that he would be bad in bed.
I've never been so turned off by an omelet.
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
Randomize
