his facebook status quotes britney spears so there is always that
he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
her roommates boyfriend drunkenly walked in on us banging and said yeeeeaaaaaahhhh and tried to high five me
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
I just figured you know how to drive a boat and I know how to get drunk. What can go wrong
You fell asleep with your fingers in my vagina. You made this a relationship.
And at least you didn't have a dinner of Ranch Pringles and Double Stuff Oreos. I forgot that part of being single.
Did you shave a certain someone in his sleep last night?
Definitely worth waiting her kid to got to sleep when the first thing you hear once she's back is "I want you in my ass right now"
40s are totally the cure
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
Went to put my shoe on and asked myself why I left a sock in it. I didn't. Needless to say I found our used condom.
God, please protect all woman from micro-penises
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
Yep. Just fucked a 34 year old on the football field where we both went to high school. That's a story for the grandkids.
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