Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
I went to the gynecologist and they said, "you're the most fun person we've ever had," and i thought, "that's exactly why i'm here!"
We have literally factored in $2200 for bail money in the budget. This vegas trip will be out of hand. We are signing confidentiality contracts.
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
Nothing sez sunday morning like waking up in a phonebooth with a leg cramp.
There was a dismembered bleeding penis in my dream last night. That's some serious Freudian shit.
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
He puked over my shoulder into the toilet. The guy in the next stall sounded totally appalled.
We are going to the humane society and getting you microchipped so you don't get lost on your birthday. Either that or your getting a child leash
I just got invited to party with a bunch of elderly lesbians I am in no position to offer life advice
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
I just puked in my courtyard and dripped toothpaste in my chest hair. You better be getting laid or this drunk is wasted.
Literally sucked a dick for ten seconds before I said to myself, this tiny ass penis isn't worth it. My night last night
I told him to take his man panties off and take the fucking Jaeger bomb already, so no to a 2nd date
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
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