If you were a Panda and I were a Koala and we had a baby, it'd be a falafel. Just think about that.
Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
Nothing like a 3am firealarm to kick a booty call out...
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
Because if not I was going to quote Ryan Lochte as punishment
Thank god I got my shit together
Obviously. I'm here to let you eat things off my boobs and help you get laid.
when i got home she was standing in my front yard not wearing a shirt and halfway crying/ halfway laughing
Things you do not want to hear after sex: I almost lost my gum in your pussy. Really dude, don't share that with me!
Cleaning my room at 2am, in just one corner I found six beers, half a pint of whiskey, my flask, 2 shotgun bullets, my crown and shimmer lotion.
I still don't know why she was so offended when I emerged from the bathroom and told her my balls were now clean.
Double-fisting ice cream and wine. Do not send help.
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
When do you think the murder is going to happen in this Lifetime movie of ours?
Randomize
