I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
dude i dnt kno how, but i think theres a tampon in my butt
She brought an overnight bag to my party. Might as well have shown up wearing only a thong and a bottle of whip cream in her hand.
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
I'm seriously gonna die surrounded by a million cats and an unbroken hymen
since you saved your number in my phone as "the hot chick you met last Friday" I don't know who you are either
I know you're on vacation but you should know I just walk of shamed through a hotel lobby while leaving a threesome on Friday the 13th. Fuck superstition, I win.
So then you challenged the bartender to an arm wrestling contest for a free bottle of vodka
Sweet. Did I win?
Youre hungover arent you?
Just copped mushrooms from a dude in a business suit. U comin or what?
THERE IS NOT ENOUGH CAPSLOCK IN THE HISTORY OF THE WORLD TO EXPRESS MY CURRENT STATE OF WHAT THE FUCK JUST HAPPENED
not even kidding I just received the single most greatest head I have ever had.. It was unreal. It was like stick my dick into a silk bag of puppy ears.
Too bad pet owners lack respect for my training in ancient Buddhist and holistic rehab therapies.
I'm not sure the Buddhist consider pot brownies holistic rehab therapy
Blocking me on Facebook doesn't change the fact that you've had my penis in my mouth. So there's that.
Who suggested the eggnog wet t-shirt contest last night like whose idea was that
Speaking
He yelled "Go Ducks" while he came
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