is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit
Its really not funny anymore. I need to stop shaving while i'm drunk
I got a Cease & Desist email from NBC for downloading Bruno. I am not going down for gay porn.
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
Dude the animal human society told us we could get a dog when we came back sober. I cant wait.
she was drinking until 3, woke up at 7, shouted 'I'M STILL DRUNK" and went out for a jog in her thong
The walk home from the bar is FAR more shameful in daylight.
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
I drink way too much to have a type. Last weekend I picked up a guy who calls me "baby girl"
Tis the season to puke in grandma's bathroom
His tongue was like Jesus himself was blessing my boobs for eternal ecstasy.
I'm not so sure Jesus approves of such activities, but ok.
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
I'm about to order this penis-casting kit so text me within 5 mins if you're not down
Dad literally changed the channel from an episode of Big Bang Theory to another episode of Big Bang Theory. That's why I hate this show.
Randomize
