So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
He keeps whispering to me that he can't wait to tie my hands up with my wig?
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
You had salsa out and brought a banana on a plate to bed
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
I can feel my liver begging me to stop.
Can't a woman sleep on the floor in her own apartment in peace without being judged?
You were chugging tap water out of a running blender screaming "bubbles is Perrier mother fucker"
I took a 19 year old to a strip club and ended up in a three way. Divorced life might be OK.
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
She wanted a dick pic so I sent her brett Favres dick pic then she asked why I have pictures of old men's beautiful dicks
Not only do I have a well-defined bite mark on my arm, but I also have a perfectly clear bruise of a handprint wrapped around my arm like a tribal tattoo. Thoughts on how that happened?
He was cute in a Sketchy-trying-to-sell-you-a-vaccum-at-9-at-night kinda way.
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
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