Michael Jackson and Farah Fawcett are dead
NOOOOOOOO not MJ! Someone tell the paramedic to grab him by the heart and just "Beat it"
i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
We are so drunk I just let him piss between my legs on the toilet. That's love.
4 am. She strained the mac and cheese onto her legs. She has no skin.
Walking in to my alcoholic Assessment meeting with a black eye = 40% awkward 60% awesome
your ex girlfriend just barged in my house, drunk, mumbled something about "car strip", and put a huge hole in my drywall with her head.
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
You ran through a field yelling "I'm frolicking! I'm frolicking!" Then fell on your face. How is your nose today, doll?
THIS IS WHY I WENT TO SCHOOL FOR TO BE A COSMETOLOGIST TO HELP MY EX BOYFRIENDS CURRENT GIRLFRIEND BE MILDLY ATTRACTIVE... Everything DOES happen for a reason
fuck Derek. I choose weed. weed isn't angry and would never ask me to be someone I'm not.
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
She told me she was the Publishers Clearing House of Dicks. Two dicks a day, everyday for life.
if i get arrested im counting on you to get a picture of it
Thirty seconds is a long time in jizz time...
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
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