It could have went better. They kicked us out of the casino and I drunkenly whipped her across the face with a fishing pole. Long story.
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
I woke up with a fake mustache stuck to my chest and I can't even hold down water.
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
I didn't just randomly come up with it. But if you want to give me extra credit for creativity I have a bare chest and chocolate sauce left
i'm about to be the still-drunkest person on the ellipticals
Yeah, you went up to him and said "I stare at people until they feel obligated to talk to me."
There will always be a place in my black heart for him because he gave me my first sex-induced orgasm. While you slept on the bunk above.
I was shitfaced. I filled my contact case WITH TANNING LOTION
Doing coke by yourself isn't as fun. Even when you're watching a James Franco movie.
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
tinder day one and i already had more guys message me about "the girl with the big tits in my second picture" than about me. MY 17 YEAR OLD SISTER CAN GET LAID WITHOUT EVEN HAVING TO MAKING A PROFILE
to be fair she does have a great rack
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
I think he may actually care that I call him slampiece instead of his real name. Who knew he had feelings?
I had to replace her wine with red vitamin water. So if she’s alive, you can thank me
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