Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
Did Neil Armstrong say the moon was too far away! NO! He built himself a fucking rocketship is what he did!
Ambien does the same to me. One time that I took it, I got this huge bowl of spaghetti out of the fridge and thought it was a castle and that the meatballs were little slaves. I ate all of them first and then the noodles were the soldiers and the sauce was the water in the moat. And when I finished, I fell up the stairs and threw it all up.
do you remember putting condoms over both your hands and asking me if your fists would be too big.
i just realized i've hooked up with every boy in this taco bell
That's the classiest thing you've ever said.
You'll be proud of me
Who did you not have sex with
Damn it...you know me too well
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
Ok, so for future reference, in Rome, "piano bar" means "brothel".
i was holding a cup in her face for her to throw up in while screaming THIS IS THE DEFINITION OF FRIENDSHIP
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
Some kid just stopped wherever he was walking, turned to me, and gave me a slow clap. So I'm pretty sure my walk of shame beats yours.
The last time I saw her someone was carrying her on a bike and she was yelling that she was E.T.
i refuse to take responsibility for eating Chuck E Cheese pizza and having any other repercussions than the shits.
Woke up with a $100 bill from the Philippines in my bra & an unopened box of sour patch kids next to me. I have some questions.
This lady is talking to me and all I can think about is getting face fucked and doing cocaine. Not neccesarily together and not neccesarily in that order
Randomize
