Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
you know you made it when your beer pong table is made from imported italian hardwood
i was driving around baked, windows down jamming to third eye blind and eating grapes for 35 minutes before i remembered why i left my house
I got called a drunken housewife today in class. I'm proud, not many people can say they've achieved their life goals like I have by the time they turn 20
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
You know you're old when tea and a hot bath are more appealing than beer pong with lesbians.
She pulled up to the bar in a limo, wasted, and alone. Gets out, shrugs and slurs "I couldn't find a cab" and proceeds to take a shot.
I'm in love.
You can't have your cake and publicly stick your dick in it too
He started tongueing his parfait and told "thats what I'd to your ass" in the middle of Starbucks. Of course i brought him home
Ran out of eye drops right after putting them in one eye. Half baked at work.
The stall at this bar had mirrors all around. I just looked at myself take a shit from like 3 different angles
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
Its the damn oven. I think it wants to eat me.
You don't need yoga. You need a boyfriend! Trust me I've become all sorts of flexible this past year.
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