id be glad to
I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
When you come back do you think I could print anorexic pictures of Mary-Kate?
Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.
I just washed champagne and tuna off my body. I feel like that was a successful shower.
he told me that my best friend was "one the most attractive people he's ever seen" and wondered why he didn't get a blow job
When we started taking double shots of vodka and chasing it with a lick of fruit roll-ups, I knew there'd be hell to pay in the morning.
it's too soon in the relationship to think about him when i masturbate. so i think about his dad instead.
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
Just pulled back my covers. Jizz. Jizz everywhere. Hipster jizz everywhere on my only set of sheets.
It feels like im being cuddled by a thousand little smurf vaginas
I think I just smoked a piece of your foot. Were u picking your feet by the weed?
I'm still here... I feel so bad wearing your mom's cardigan at a strip club 🙈
Just watched someone fail a field sobriety test. Miserably. At 4:50p. I think it's my future husband
God bless him
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
Randomize
