what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
Theres a dude at this concert at the urinal double fisting beers, taking drinks from both while simultaneously pissing euerywhere. He is my hero
while cleaning my room, i've found many wonderful things. one of these is the card you gave me for my eighteenth birthday. it's a christmas card that says "i want to stick it in your sponger"
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
im getting coffee to go get coffee.
Im throwing up in my trash can so I can go throw up in the toilet. We're basically on the same level.
Is percocet and coffee considered a balanced breakfast?
Dude, she's the greatest salesman alive. she convinced chelsea to buy a box of Cheerios for $20. She can find your dick some willing pussy.
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
YOU'RE FORCING ME TO BLOW A GUY BY NOT ANSWERING MY CALLS
Go to the bar. Find a girl. Ask if she can cook. Tell her you have a guitar at home. Ask her if she wants to see it. Bring her home. Sleep with her. Tell her it's your birthday in the morning. Enjoy your made with lust breakfast.
I'm gonna take a crap in the portashitter like a civilized human being.
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
I finally broke my dry spell. I did it. D-do-da-Dora.
The first thing my Christmas gift money is buying is a dildo.
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