Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
please come home... she's showing me videos of spanish parrots and is telling me about her dead cousin...
Also, not pregnant! Way to go uterus! Good job on being a team player!
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
Ummm, my mojito just spilled on 2 essays as I'm grading. Who says high schoolers have all the fun?
When I was hooking up with this guy last night all I could think about was if we were in Game of Thrones... I need to stop doing drugs
Aaand now my client contact has seen your boobs.
A 3am FaceTime to go to IHOP is the closest thing to a bootycall that I'm getting
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
Uhhh...I just found your 10 dollar bill in my bra. I owe you 10 dollars.
I twisted my ankle while drunkenly playing in my adult kickball league. Now I'm having to use my grandpa's cane to walk at this party. I am so single.
Whatever douche. I sucked the dick that made you. I. Win.
She thinks I cheated on her 10 years ago in a past life lmao
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