there is cereal in my wallet where all the cash used to be.
kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
Just walk-of-shame'd past fifteen little girls at summer camp. Take a good look girls, I am you in twelve years.
You insisted on take shots off of plates.
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
Im also drinking whiskey while on a treadmill wearing high heels so let's consider that for a moment.
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
Beer is acceptable at 830am if it's your bday, right?
I sincerely thought making it to McDonalds by 10:00am was a shoe-in but it appears that I need to adjust my zoom when looking at the map before walking to places.
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
This is not my bathroom and these are not my pants
Is a coke binge Whole30 approved?
At the light, his mom pulled up next to us while I was giving him road head. He forgot to tell me she was meeting us at the movie. So long story short, I convinced her I drove myself, pick me up in 20.
I feel like your boyfriend deserves to know that you're a lesbian.
The amount of illegal things I've done this weekend is astounding.
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