I just googled "whats above a trillion", thats how busy I am at work.
What drug did you take that made the cabinets scream at you?
I'll go out only because I know the starving children in third-world countries would frown upon us if we let an hour of free sangria go to waste...
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
Please don't die.. At a gay bar... On a Wednesday. Obituaries are not allowed to be that entertaining.
My niece just unknowingly cock blocked me. Obviously, someone won't be getting a christmas present this year.
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
How can I not totally like a guy that told me my boobs were too big for me to be taught how to play golf?
I was like a migrating bird last night. Navigating on pure instinct. Don't remember how... but I made it home.
She proposed we share a dildo. Hopefully she was joking.
Now in just stoned listening to my dads philosophical idea about public transit
New fuck buddy and long time fuck buddy are carpooling home for thanksgiving. #10hrconvoaboutmyblowjobskills
I just found one of your beard hairs in my oatmeal.
Oh my God it's like my cock was dipped in lava
She should be a lawyer. She convinced her husband to give her a hall pass AFTER he walked in on her in bed with her ex-bf
Randomize
