So when exactly did I get naked and makeout with the statue?
phil was outside the bar last night, sitting on the ground playing songs on a guitar hero guitar to people walking by for money...best version of free bird ever
can't believe I ate straight coffee grounds to stay awake for that
He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
I woke up in solitary confinement, wheb they moved me the guy that sold me the pill of Molly at the concert was in the police waiting room, we nodded to each other.
If i want her back i know all i have to do is sleep with a specific handful of her closest friends. That method is tried and true.
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
He came to my Harry Potter marathon wearing a Hogwarts uniform. Of course I fucked him.
He said 'I really struggle with the sin of lust' then we proceeded to have sex. So I guess it was a perfectly executed Catholic pick up line?
Dude they are making elephants out of dollar bills. I'm way too high for this
Too hungover to brush my teeth. took a swig of menthol schnapps instead. lazy or incredibly efficient?
Youre my hero
I call bullshit
Call it what ever you want I just need to figure out how to get permanent marker off my cock
I got home and he was wearing a suit. He said he reason was because it was shirt and tie Saturday and that he won't change until midnight. He then proceeded to answer the door in a British accent.
You kept on yelling traitor and threatened to kill him and everyone he loves because he played beerpong with someone else
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