dude, the summer is killing me. i just woke up cause my balls were stuck to HER leg!
I cant. I'm trying to smell my vagina.
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
Apparently i was peeing on things and marking my territory. I broke their light socket too. Needless to say im banned from their apartment.
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
Okay my swimming class is like the fatass/diabetic guide to losing 2 pounds by christmas
He's sobering up. It was really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together.
he was wearing ninja turtle pajamas and he STILL got laid. who the fuck is this guy?!
I just messaged a senior at Harvard and told him to 'tinder me softly'
I was too drunk to remember throwing up so i probably didn't learn my lesson
Ok despite the fact that both you and I love dick we could have a great marriage
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
Randomize
