I'm trashed wearing your mom's snuggie. She says hello.
I have no voice and feel like lukewarm beer.
I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
Busta Rhymes just yelled at me! He cut a song off and I was clapping and he looked right at me and said "don't fucking clap." I was that white guy.
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
Putting the hydrocodone in Pez dispensers. Do you want Speedy Gonzales or Darth Vader?
I finally won that bet on when the anorexic girl would pass out at the gym. You owe me 10 now
He gets you donuts, dinner, and booze consistently, who cares if he's cheating
On the bright side I got 500 American Express points paying for the abortion
I'm sorry you were dumb enough to get played by a male cheerleader
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
It's 2pm, and I just had to pass a guy in the turning lane because he was driving down Main Street in an electric wheelchair pulling a flatbed trailer with 2 of his buddies in it and they were all drunk holding beers.
It is clearly not my fault that you decided studying was more important than trying to bang our hot teacher for an A, so I seized the opportunity.
It's like sleep walking but with blowjobs
Randomize
