and this is why I hate my dad. He got 25x more angry with me when I wanted to drive a different route then he suggested to get to his house (more scenic- thus more enjoyable) then he did when I told him I was driving drunk with 4 people in the car and I got my 5th speeding ticket last night.
its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
Alone. In an inflatable pool. Drinking vodka and raspberry lemonade. I don't need approval as much as I need to know you love me still.
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
So basically i got outta bed and started peeing on the a/c unit..when my roommate tried to stop me i looked at him and said "i got this"
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
Do you think if I puke at the gym they think is because I'm going hard walking on the treadmill?
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
Your mom just threw up on me. Please come home.
he just looked at me, said "i think i'll keep you around, you put the seat back up and everything," and then burst into tears.
It's almost like a boob-text, but it's not. Because it was live. And you were showing a bunch of people.
Your mother liked my album on facebook that's only filled with drunk pictures. I don't know what to feel about this
I just heard your voicemail. Glad you like my dick and think I'm cool
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
Randomize
