Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
I'm talking like I woke up and her bra was spinning around caught on my ceiling fan
it's like i need an invisible sign across my boobs that says "DOESN'T HAVE DADDY ISSUES" that only old men can see
I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
Hey do you want me to wrap up that Jack in the Box you left in my gutter
I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
Those people having sex on the beach kept looking over at you guys throwing his shoes at the seagulls.
I bet my lungs hate me more than my liver
That's a hard toss up
I just spent 20 minutes in a Subway trying to take a candid photo of the doppleganger of the guy I lost my virginity to instead of eating. That's all the evidence I need that my life is on track.
CSI Miami is on and the guy is trying to save this woman who got shot. By stripping off his shirt & belt. THE WOMAN NEEDS YOUR PANTS OFF TOO
after we got done having sex, you rolled over and ask what your yelp review was. So yea I'm kinda mad.
no offense but you looked like shit yesterday
tequila is unforgiving..
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
Randomize