i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
Only my sister would update her facebook status while going into labor.
how can getting a pizza be this hard?
when you've been drinking 14 hours anythings impossible
Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
Remember when you tried to pay that stripper to cry on stage?
I walked in and she was kneeling on the ground with no pants on, throwing up, and holding the puppy. It was one of those moments, where i was like damn i wish i had my camera.
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
We proceeded to buy tattoos from the dollar store and interpretive dance to of monsters and men, it's safe to say he's my new fuck buddy
Denis dont give a fuck, Denis drinks out of straws. Denis disregards the fire station & bought 18 fire hoses so he can fight it himself if the farmhouse is on fire.
Remember the couple Steve and I heard and rated their sex based on the bed squeaks cuz we couldn't sleep through the noise? We got them back. They turned up the radio to drown us out.
Is it bad that I want a job purely so I can buy drugs with without feeling like I am sacrificing my future?
Why do you think I have a job?
Here when you come to your senses come back here and I'll fuck you back out of them.
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
You did an excessive amount of blow and then screamed "WHO THE FUCK NEEDS A LADDER?!" And then Mario style wall-jumped onto the roof. It was one of the most impressive things I've ever seen.
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