I would wrestle an alligator for a bj right now
So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
They said "my eyes made me look intoxicated" ......we harassed them all night and we called the cops and told them that the bouncer that kicked us out was selling meth in the club ...and then we went to wendys
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
When he came he kept saying "oh god oh god" and he sounded just like his dad. awkward...
Dear Beer Goggles, it's time to see the eye doctor. With love, your biggest fan.
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
just cuz theres a goalie doesnt mean i cant commandeer the goal and become a way better goalie
He professed his love for me while I danced on a picnic table with a bottle of Absolut. I said thank you and walked away.
was it wrong to tell him he's welcome in my pants any time?
cops tried arresting me on the way to class this morning.. this is my life.
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
How do you know i dont look like i got attacked by a weedwacker on bath salts?
I promised to leave my panties on but I didn't promise to not have sex
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