My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
I feel like if im whacking off more now that i have a gf than i did when i was single, somethings wrong.
mom and grandma are in town. grandma wants to get drunk with you
I think my hot accountant is wearing banana republic. I miss the days when that ='ed gay. Signals are so confusing now.
just got out of a noise viloation because the cop recognized my roomate as his favorite chipotle burrito roller. just another reason I love ritos
If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.
My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
all nice guys are gay and all hot ones are assholes
You're fat. Stop making excuses
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
Dude totally calling you out on watching when harry met sally on netflix on demand on april 8th.
I finally got out of bed at 8:30pm and my little brother informed me that I had cereal stuck to my back. I'm going to smoke a cigarette and go back to sleep.
I'm in too deep with Breaking Bad. I realized I've altered my Tinder likes to people that either look like Jesse or work in a school's Science department.
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
he just fucked me for my cheese..
I don't think there's a ladylike way to tell this guy I want to sit on his face
Randomize
