What are we going to do tonight?
What we try to do every night. Take over the world
Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
Just remembered i had an ordained minister bless my booze last night.
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
I think I just snorted head and shoulders by mistake.
I woke up to a 3rd person picture of my own dick sent from a 1-800 number..
I hate being near you and not being able to do what I want. It's like a recovering alcoholic tending bar. I feel like Sam Malone. Except I can't bang the cute chick I work with.
Oh my fucking god that cat looks just like you after you accidentally took Ketamine
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
sometimes you just gotta rip off the nipple tape and get it done.
Welcome to your 30’s, where every one night stand is most likely with someone’s father
I think I just got booty called by someone I've never slept with or even really had a conversation with before.
Her hot older sister walked in on us, looked me up and down, then stared straight at her and said "I call sloppy seconds on this one" then left. I'm still debating on how I feel about that.
Randomize
