yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
Gave out candy dressed as a porn star...bet you can guess how the mothers kept reacting.
yeah, he just sent me a picture of himself with his shirt off.... It didnt turn me on, it just made me want to buy him a big mac....
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
Because when I say 'You shouldn't drink anymore', she hears, 'I personally challenge you to chug 3 more mixed drinks'
My present? It was a fake boarding pass he made in Photoshop. He litterally just gave me a one way ticket to Pound Town
Do you remember snorting allspice and yelling at doughnut shop girl?
Dude, its flawless. what could go wrong?
Jail. That could go wrong.
I'm gonna make a therapist very happy and very wealthy this semester.
All I want is a camelback full of Jameson and the weather to be cool enough for me to wear rainbow spandex. Ugh. Pride problems.
new costume idea. paint swatches and a ball gag... I'll be 50 shades of grey.
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
Trust me, dating 38 and 20 year old dudes at the same time is the best. Money plus all of the sex. Finally figured out this relationship thing.
We're gonna have to check the security cameras after last night
I know it's going to be a good day because he didn't notice the bite mark on my butt.
Randomize
