I am drunk raised to the nth degree. The possibility of getting sick is approaching infinity.
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
I got an MIP via FUCKING HELICOPTER. Tuscaloosa police either have nothing to do or too many resources.
Drank another frat president under the table. Thinking of starting my own, gonna call it Alpha Phi Alcoholics
I just fucked my ex's ex's ex. Love quadrilateral complete
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
Everybody shut up a minute, we need to discuss how much nicer the world would be if pants weren't a thing.
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
I'm just that drunk tells people I love them or wants to set them on fire. Accept that.
I learned that I order a bunch of dollar shots at the bar and once it's ready turned around and say "who wants pay?" And someone will pay
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
Did you mean to say flashlight? Or did your grandpa really give you a fleshlight for your bday?
I had just gotten to his place and was about to get some dick. No way was I gonna let her negative attitude affect my orgasm feng shui
You know, finding my first grey pube at 34 is FAR more distressing than finding that first grey hair at 13.
I DO NOT FUCKING WANT OR NEED THIS INFORMATION!
The cure for a hangover evidently is not walking around in a costume in the sun towards of park of screaming children
Randomize
