how did you get vomit on both your shoulders. I mean think about it.
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
It would be like bopping for an apple with my penis but never winning an actual prize. The only thing I would get from it would be the joy from taking part but then regretting it forever more
I mass texted 4 of you for a booty call. Please reply all when responding so only one of you shows up. Last one is a rotten egg.
Standing in a circle of girls fistpumping to the word "hospital" while taking shots.... I don't see this ending well, but its fucking fun.
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
I've given up for the day already. I just wanna eat cheesecake and hide from her.
Just turned down sex because it's a holy day of obligation, my mom would be proud.
I never thought people would keep their guns next to their fake plastic penises, but there they were.
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
Wanna get mid day margaritas tomorrow if I'm still alive
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
This kid wants me to stop partying. Like I have only known you for 5 days. Chill.
Omg I joined a choir last night...
I have to have boobs, you have the charm and wholesomeness that gets boyfriends... And i have boobs
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