out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
I told her i was enlisting in the air force tomorrow.....it was like the activation code to her vagina
i think you know its gunna be a bad day when it starts with throwing up into a red plastic cup
I woke up to a paper award certificate for best blow job and he was gone. You're welcome mystey man.
i was able to set 4 alarms to make sure i woke up in time for class but i couldnt take the open beer out of my pocket before i did cartwheels down the hall...
And dont tell me its his job to cockblock me just because he's my boyfriend.
Lets be real here, you loved it when I was on top. With and without the machete.
i want to pour hot gravy all over you in bed
I was galloping around pretending to give birth to pbrs. I could have used a mask.
who's idea was it to start the NCAA tournament less than a week after St. Patrick's day? My liver needs time to recover for things like this.
I WANT TO JUMP IN TO A VOLCANO
They cut me off when I tried to pee in the corner of the bar.
We damn well better have a snow day tomorrow. We just broke out the rum.
Just got drunk at the Cheesecake Factory again. Made me think of you.
That's the nicest thing anyone's ever said to me.
After returning from the hospital with lock-jaw from getting tackle at the game. Some naked chick busted out of his room and hit him with a devastating haymaker to the jaw because he wouldn't have sex
Randomize