i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
All I want for christmas is my sobriety back.
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
I think "banned from Amtrak due to excessive projectile vomiting" would sum up the evening quite nicely.
i'll just tell him I slept with them both because we needed to compare notes
ARE YOU GOING TO SACRIFICE YOUR LIFE FOR MCDONALDS HASHRBOWNS
i get the sense she is planing new and exciting ways to physically harm me during sex
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
$100 bras are my way of telling my boobs that I love and appreciate them, and all the metaphorical doors they have opened for me.
What changed your mind?
Being sober
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
Randomize
