I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
i just remembered i chipped my tooth last night when i pulled up your pants zipper with my teeth
you broke a plate. told her her wedding china was ugly and you were doing her a favor. then proceeded to break every plate you could get your hands on.
you started putting condoms on anything with a point, then you were yelling at the lamp for using your last condom...
I just had a dream that I was pulling you around downtown on a sled, from bar to bar. Dear lord if we start that there's no hope for us
When you get here, kick me in the balls. It's really important. - I'll explain later.
How did she break his doorknob?
That was our fault. We put a chair under the doorknob so that she wouldn't wander out of his room in the middle of the night and jump into bed with her ex. But she's stronger than we thought.
i just got drunk and created an entire Dr Seuss unit for my first graders.
I was on top for a full on make out when in dead silence "I'm moaning Myrtle" came from the TV. Moment ruined. I got cock blocked by a fictional ghost
don't let your emotions get tangled in that sexy beard of his.
All my friends are getting married and I'm pole dancing in a tattoo shop. I don't know how I feel about this.
They spent thousands on one day. You made $76 in 30 minutes. You should feel great about that.
I asked him if we were exclusive and he followed up with, "If a tree falls in the woods and no ones around, does it still make a sound?" Wtf am I supposed to do with that?!
Randomize
