Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
I wish we could go back in time and find our best farts ever
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
And on top of all this... he just told me to "chill my nips."
i am too hungover to go to class can you just call me and put it on speaker phone
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
I will take a blow job from a dude that kinda looks like a girl at this point
I think a kid would responsible me up
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
I forgot that places existed where drinking on Sunday is frowned upon. It's just so unreasonable.
She asked if she should pack the condoms, I told her I plan on drinking so much that it won't be possible.
We perfected the quiet ass slap during sex so his roommate wouldn't wake up.
Waking up drunk is great, waking up drunk and hanging with your mom is even better.
I think I accidentally got a sugar daddy but I was already planning on sleeping with him so I’m going to see where this goes
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