He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
Remember that time i walked in on your friend taking a huge shit?
Remember that time you hooked up with him?
as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
the only muscles i have these days is kegels
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
He got me an interview at his law firm and his boss asked him what he had to say about me. His response "He dates CRAZY bitches."
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
your ex girlfriend just barged in my house, drunk, mumbled something about "car strip", and put a huge hole in my drywall with her head.
This was just another one of those days you wished you had a penis-size indicator instead of wasting your time isn't it?
I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
Let's go. I'm waiting for my time to shine among the stars of never never land. Make sure you bring my Peter Pan costume this time. Shit's bout to get real glittery.
Why is your ex naked in my apartment?
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
Randomize
