Making out with married ex girlfriends: priceless
you make it seem like sunflower seeds and pinot grigio are not in the food pyramid.
Just snuck alcohol into the hospital for my mom.
you crashed our wine night double date and sat on the floor eating cheese talking about how big his dick is.
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
I woke up to a 3rd person picture of my own dick sent from a 1-800 number..
I'm sitting with my parents watching football and moaned when I saw his shirtless picture. They looked at me weird so I had to turn the moan into a laugh. A sad, really horny laugh.
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
She could makes a perfectt roast dinner drunk but she nearly sets the kitchen alight microwaving popcorn.
So when the drug raid cops tell you, you should get out of the relationship, it probably means its time.
he's like a horny 3rd grader on cocaine. he needs a leash
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
He just started dry humping the air... I'm done
So I'm hiding in my bathroom smoking bowls because my landlords kids came over to visit my dog... My life has reached a new low
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