enterprise is going to pick me up, im too high for this
I want to get so wasted that I make middle aged irish men look like mormon girls
5 am is for sleeping. Or getting railed on by a stranger. But never for fundraising. Get real.
We didn't have beer, so we played mini-beer pong with shots and frozen peas.
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
HE IS COURTING ME WITH CHINESE FOOD AND IT IS WORKING.
sick fucks of a feather flock together
I've made a list of places I want to have sex this summer. #1: Reptile House at the zoo.
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
So after your set last night some 42 year old woman bought me a drink, professed her love for your music, and then made out with me last night because she thought I was you. Thank you.
SINCE WHEN WAS USING A FROZEN WATER BOTTLE ATTACHED TO A ROPE AS A THROWING WEAPON A GOOD IDEA??
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
I don't like pregnant me. I eat very large burritos, I don't like having sex and I can't even finish a Blue Moon.
No one knows how to work that "I pulled a muscle in my leg" drunk swagger like you can
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
Randomize
