So she farted while we were having sex but I was afraid she would stop because she was emberessed so i just went ahead and took the blame and apologized
well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
My mom just walked in on me and my girlfriend about to have sex. All she said was "You're lookin like a fool with your pants on the ground.."
Xanax and allergy medicine look a lot alike when you spill them on the floor. Just saying that I still have allergies but I'm unsure if I still have legs
What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
No no no he wouldn't talk to me before I showed his best friend how good I am at twerking
They found you popping and locking it alone in the parking lot
I can't believe we broke the fucking lamp.
*i* can't believe believe we broke the lamp fucking.
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
So the vodka/tequila mix went down fine but the burp made me cry
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