thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
swears the blind dude on this train is faking. Every day he stumbles and falls into a different girl's lap and then has to grab her tits to steady himself.
I am intoxicated and cannot bring you a burrito. However, if you want to bring ME one...
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
The usual, bring face make up, I have a weird gash on my nose, probably from my one night stand
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
Also I'm very proud of th fact that I walked my dog before bed. Drunk dog walking should be an Olympic sport; it takes SKILLS.
I noticed a trail of vomit coming up the drive way. You must be home
That hot guy i showed you guessed my exact bra size. I want to have his tan babies.
is there a way to say "yea i broke my wrist cause i fell down some stairs while tripping my face off on acid" without actually saying it?
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
He wore the same cologne as my orthodontist so all I could think about was how I hadn't worn my retainer in months
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
Y'all let us switch shirts in the middle of 200 people....why did you let me get this drunk by noon?
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
Randomize
