weddingsv make me drug and hornr
I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
Registered for next semester classes drunk. Let's hope I didn't accidently sign up for history of dinosaurs again...
he went down on me with a nose plug on, you tell me how it went
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
I love you. Thanks for all the blowjobs.
I'm the fucking queen of sexting. I just made a blowjob sound so poetic I'm wishing I were a guy just so I could blow me. Learn from me.
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
I apologize for being mean. I love the blender and your vagina.
I just finished a four mile round trip walk to CVS to buy shaving cream and lube. You're welcome.
Like woke up with a dick piercing kind of drunk.
Just looked for hours for the remote. Found it in my purse. I need to drink less.
You offered the police officer a Snickers ice cream bar and cried when he wouldn't take it...
He just said Bill Nye is just a dude. If I ever considered sleeping with him, I never will now.
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
Randomize